You Know You're Watching Too Much Are You Being Served? When...
| Welcome, AYBS? fan, to the first ever, original YKYWTMAYBSW list, created around April of 1997 when this site was still a puny website at http://www.geocities.com/~iacobus/served.html. Also, do check out my links page to find Minki's great YKYWTMAYBSW page! ^_^ Thanks to the various people who contributed wonderful ideas to this list in the past, especially Michelle, Nicole, Eric, and Thomas! I'm not asking for contributions anymore, mainly because when I used to do so I'd get a LOT repetitions of things that have already been listed here. :) However, if you want to send me some ideas for the list I'd love to see them! And although I won't be adding stuff to this page frequently anymore, don't worry - this list will continue to be updated! LAST UPDATE: 7 April 2005. |
You Know You're Watching Too Much Are You Being Served? When:
1) One's pussy becomes acceptable dinner conversation.
2) You momentarily forget where you are and answer the phone with a deep, booming: "MENSWEAR..."
3) You begin wondering if Dennis Rodman's been receiving beauty tips from Mrs. Slocombe.
4) You start trying to spot Junoesque blue-haired women when you're out at the nearest pub.
5) You firmly believe that "organ demonstrating" is a noble calling!
6) Watch too much Are You Being Served???? Psha - as IF!
7) You wonder why all the department stores you go to are so crowded.
8) You always wonder why the groom isn't wearing a skirt at the weddings you attend.
9) You begin letters to your lover with: "Dear Sexy Knickers..."
10) You inadvertently scare other people in elevators by rehearsing the show's opening chant, floor by floor.
11) You intentionally scare other people in elevators by rehearsing the show's opening chant, floor by floor.
12) You don't really need to rehearse the show's opening chant anymore, but you do it anyway to keep up your "ability."
13) You are no longer ashamed of dressing in drag - especially if it wins you £600!
14) You start seeing your own aura... and it's purple with white stripes!
15) At the zoo, you suddenly shout out, "Mr. Lucas was wrong - there ARE fat zebras!" and end up thoroughly scaring any bystanders.
16) You try to persuade your grandmother to slap on some purple lipstick and a purple wig.
17) After your grandmother refuses, you decide to do it in her place.
18) You dress up as Miss Belfridge for a costume party.
19) You dress up as Miss Belfridge for a costume party and you're a guy.
20) You dress up as Miss Belfridge.
21) You live in the U.K. and you've seen all sixty-nine episodes.
22) You live in America and you've still seen all sixty-nine episodes!
23) You know the difference between #21 and #22.
24) You know that now there isn't any difference between #21 and #22. ^_^
25) You've seen all sixty-nine episodes, plus the movie, and you have them all on video or DVD.
26) You've recorded all sixty-nine episodes IN ORDER, and at VERY high quality, but you still go out and buy each video or DVD as they are released by the BBC even if they may be out of order and even if they may have cut out some funny scenes, just because you "need" to.
27) You start buying that funky neon hair dye at K-Mart to look more "dignified" and "ladylike."
28) You ask your cat if she's been a good girl in the garden.
29) You go to the eye doctor's and the eye charts are all in Polish.
30) AYBS? takes precedence over the evening news!
31) You wonder if you're catching "Marine's Disease" every time you sneeze.
32) Your signature words of praise become: "You've all done very well!" ...even when you're only addressing one person!
33) You wonder if Yul Brynner used sandpaper and French chalk.
34) You can't stand neat tonic, so you put gin and lemon in.
35) You get your jollies from getting your inside leg measured, even when you're just buying a shirt. Or you get your jollies from measuring inside legs, even when your customer is just buying a shirt. :p
36) You measure inside legs all the time, and you don't even sell clothes!
37) You dream of AYBS?
38) You fantasize about Miss Brahms.
39) You fantasize about Mr. Lucas.
40) You fantasize about Mr. Rumbold. (WARNING! If this applies to you, you are watching way too much AYBS? and you should get out more.)
41) You look up "Slocombe" in your phone number directory.
42) You've looked up "Slocombe," "Humphries," "Peacock," "Brahms," "Lucas," and "Grainger" in your phone number directory, and you've called each number that was listed... just in case.
43) You start a petition at work for a real, AYBS?-style canteen!
44) You can't help but laugh at those poor fools who say, "What? There's an Are You Being Served? movie?"
45) You are reminded of passionate kissing whenever you use a bathroom plunger.
46) You start drinking your soup with straws.
47) You call up the Psychic Friends Network in the hopes of contacting Mr. Humphries.
48) You actually enjoy reading this list. XD
49) You've contributed to this list! ;>
50) Every December you dress up as Father Christmas and give little boys big surprises.
51) You get the urge to drop your trousers and display your y-fronts.
52) You mime horse races when playing charades, no matter what the word is that you're SUPPOSED to be miming.
53) You think falsies are for putting on your knees when you polish the parquet.
54) You think your mother is at the door anytime the doorbell rings while you're at a friend's house.
55) Your teeth get caught up in your c-c-custard. *slurp*
56) Cuckoo clocks begin to scare the crap out of you.
57) There have been times when you have blanked out for a second and thought, "Of course fluorescent green is a natural hair color!"
58) You suddenly get these cravings for crumpet.
59) You smuggle in pork pies to work.
60) You get your hair "double-lacquered" ...just in case!
61) Your home is no longer duplex, but "semi-detached."
62) Your hair color begins to change more often than a politician's position on the issues.
63) The only songs you look for on a jukebox are "My Way" and "Mammy."
64) You can't help but wonder if everyone who wears Father Christmas outfits during the holiday season are just flashers.
65) Whenever you hear mention of a boardroom, your eyes gaze up towards the heavens.
66) You name your child "Wilberforce" or "Mary Elizabeth Jennifer Rachel."
67) You legally change your own name to "Wilberforce Clayborne Humphries."
68) You legally change your own name to "Mary Elizabeth Jennifer Rachel Yiddell Abergavenny Slocombe."
68) You legally change your own name to "Mary Elizabeth Jennifer Rachel Yiddell Abergavenny Slocombe" ...and you're a guy!
69) You adopt the Goldberg "speed" method of totalling figures.
70) You DON'T adopt the Goldberg "speed" method of totalling figures because you know that his method led to an error in the episode "Anything You Can Do." Check for yourself - he was off by thirty pence when they were totalling the day's earnings!
71) You take up a side business: a pussy shampoo parlor!
72) You're reading this list.
73) You're reading this list and are wishing it wasn't so long because you need to get back to your VCR and resume that episode you recorded off the TV - in order and at VERY high quality!
74) You send a letter to Nordstrom's asking why they don't sell continental novelty footwarmers.
75) When deciding where to wine and dine your partner, you check the listings for Romano's.
76) You wonder if your library has any copies of The Unsatisfied Virgin.
77) When you're late for work, you make sure to come in wearing a wetsuit and announce, "You wouldn't believe the trouble I had getting here!" in an attempt to be excused for your tardiness.
78) During a C.P.R. class, you ask when the disposable lips will be passed out.
79) While shopping for clothes, you say to a sales clerk: "Pant me, man!"
80) You plant rhubarb in your garden so it can be more like Mrs. Slocombe's.
81) Later, since you don't trust your neighbors, you uproot all your rhubarb plants, even if they don't own a Burmese cat.
82) You get policemen to show you how their handcuffs work.
83) You get your pussy a leg of Southern fried chicken to celebrate that it's been twenty-one years since you first had it.
84) You've nodded frantically in agreement while reading this list!
85) AYBS? is the sole reason behind your new purchase of a big screen TV.
86) You start guffawing every time you hear the word "boil."
87) You KNOW that Mr. Lucas wears briefs, not boxers. XD
88) You stay away from turtle soup.
89) You slap anyone who's near whenever you hear a rousing German folk tune.
90) You stick pork pies in the suggestion box at work.
91) You wonder why Duracell doesn't sell currants or sultanas.
92) You hear a line or see a gag in the AYBS? movie and can immediately name the TV episode from which it was taken, or you can name an episode that came after the movie which used the same line or gag.
93) You walk into a supermarket, shove aside an employee standing by a microphone, and press the button to announce: "Frozen foods, peas are down today."
94) You are honing your ability to read underwear labels from far, far away.
95) While trying on a suit, you ask if the sleeves will ride up with wear.
96) You want the recipe for Grace Brother's Gruel.
97) You wear a measuring tape around your neck at work.
98) You wear a measuring tape around your neck at work even though nothing you do at work requires measuring!
99) You never order meringues anywhere ever again.
100) You always check the post office walls for "Italian Tony - WANTED" posters.
101) You and your friends can perform the "Chanson d'Amour" dance routine by heart.
102) You hard-boil a dozen eggs in the hopes of simulating the Wibbly-Wobbly Village!
103) Someone mentions "the club" and you immediately say, "Oh yes, 'The Club,' episode thirty-six, also known as episode two of season six! That's my favorite 1978 episode!"
104) Someone mentions "the club" and you just sit there and snicker.
105) You went to Toys "R" Us and tried to purchase a Fun-Time Freddie.
106) When you learned that "they" don't make Fun-Time Freddie dolls, you call "them" and cuss them out for not making any.
107) The song "Jingle Bells" reminds you of ting-a-ling knickers.
108) You know the entire "Dear Sexy Knickers..." letter by heart.
109) You define your time of life as: "Clinging on to summer, with an occasional fall of snow."
110) You love playing Catch as Catch Can. :D
111) You've gotten everything on this list! ^_~ That's all for now, take care!