I Have Always Had a Girlfriend

The Express (Friday, January 22, 1999)

(Please note that this article comes from The Express newspaper. I am in no way affiliated
 with The Express but I would ask that you go to their website and at least check it out,
 even if you do not end up subscribing to The Express newspaper. After all, it is due to
 this awesome newspaper that articles such as this one are available for your viewing.
 Many thanks to "Mr. Coward" for providing this article, in .jpg format. The article has
 been copied faithfully, preserving any original grammatical errors and such.)

* * *

After making a career of playing the archetypal queen, John Inman confesses his real
sexuality at last.

by Tobyn Andreae
photos: Rebecca Meagher

Let's be frank. No one plays a queen quite so well as John Inman. There's a certain swagger
to his walk, an edge to his delivery of the double entendre that sets him above the legions
of drag acts and camp comics. Though he has never spoken openly about his private life,
those who have watched him on stage or television could be left in little doubt about his
sexuality.
     But after decades of silence, Inman has a confession to make. For the past 28 years he
has been involved in a serious relationship. And here's the shocking part: it's with a
woman. Perhaps aware that after years of speculation the news may have come as something of
a disappointment to his many legions of fans, John is unwilling to discuss details of his
paramour. Even so, he is happy to confirm that she is very much his partner and that,
although she does not work in showbusiness, the pair were introduced by a mutual friend and
there was chemistry from the start.
     "It was a case of, 'Hello, luv, how are you?'" he recalls with a smile. "Not a lot
happened for a while, which I think is what has helped it last so long. When you think of
that length of time - 28 years - I mean, the Great Train Robbers didn't get that, did
they?"
     The couple do not live together, but when John is at home in North London they meet
regularly and frequently holiday abroad. "It's not a constant thing, and that's what's nice
about it," he explains. Why has he never married? "I have considered it. I've often thought
it might be nice, but you see I'm already married to a business they call show."
     It is a neat explanation, used to help protect a relationship Inman still considers a
very private part of his life. It seems strange, though, that after so long in a straight
relationship he has not been tempted to put a stop to the tireless speculation about his
home life. He is often seen around town with his male assistant, Ron, and once confessed
that he was unsure if he was gay or not.
     "People have been asking about my sexuality every hour, on the hour, for as long as I
can remember, but it's never bothered me in the slightest," he explains. "I am quite a
happy soul. I have most things I need, I have some very nice friends and that's the way it
stays."
     Born 63 years ago, the son of a hairdresser from Preston, John was performing to his
first audiences at the age of six.
     "I was a wartime child and I can still remember taking my mother's blackout curtains,
hanging them on the washing line outside and performing little sketches or songs for
whoever would watch."
     His first professional role came at the age of 11, in a performance on Blackpool's
South Pier. "The Jack Rose repertory company was looking for a little boy to play a part in
a melodrama called Frieda," he recalls. He was paid 5 pounds for his time and has never
looked back.
     It was showbusiness, more than acting, that appealed. "I'm a tits-and-feathers man,
really," he explains. "When I first started out in rep, I used to love groups like the
Tiller Girls. To me, that was glamour - the colour, the costumes, the feathers. That was my
idea of show business. It's an awful thing to say, but it was The Beatles who ruined it for
me. It became a different business then, not as glamorous.
     "I was very lucky because, when I started out, I had the opportunity to discover what
I was best at. I make the worst Chief Inspector you have ever seen in your life. I am
dreadful at it. What I was best at was a sort of laughter machine which pleased me and
seemed to make everyone else happy as well. That's how it started. And then Mr Humphries
came along."
     Ah yes, Mr Humphries, the campest member of the staff at Grace Bros, fictitious
department store in the Seventies series _Are_You_Being_Served?_ The man whose triple
entendres are still titillating audiences across the world. Indeed, he is often to be found
in America, acting as the ambassador for a programme that has become cult viewing.
     "It's extraordinary, really," says John. "I remember one time I was crossing the road
in San Francisco and one young man literally fell off his bicycle with surprise and lay on
the road shouting, 'I love you Mr Humphries.'"
     Though he does admit that playing Humphries answered "something deep down inside that
had to come out," Inman maintains that he shares little in common with his alter ego. "It's
true that I like putting on a bit of a show, but I am actually quite quiet compared to how
people imagine."
     Have we all got John wrong then? Is his life, his public persona, just "a bit of a
show"? Who knows? And that's exactly how he likes it.

caption below inset photo: I'M FREE: John Inman as Mr Humphries, with Mrs Slocombe played
by Mollie Sugden, in _Are_You_Being_Served?_