Everything here is very autobiographical, if the title of this page didn't tip you off. :p *L* Please keep in mind that my writing, especially in this section, is quite personal to me, and that when I wrote a lot of the stuff at this section it was so that I could express my feelings in a constructive/therapeutic way. I just wanted to warn you, 'cause I'm really not as melodramatic as I sound in a lot of the stuff I've written and placed in this section. *L*

prison
After I was finished at school for the day, I was walking across campus back to my car when I noticed a fairly cute guy standing on the sidewalk waiting for a ride, standing with one foot on the curb and one foot sort of dangling over. I had been in a really awful mood for a good week or two and I couldn't seem to get my mind out of the very disjointed, dream-like state I'd been mired in all day, and in the light of late sunset my mind started coming up with strange images. As I walked past the guy, the lines of the poem started coming to me, and I put them down when I got home.

a letter from the big dipper
A poem I wrote for Michael after we broke up and I'd just moved out of his house. I started writing it in my head while driving home one night, because I was driving past his house and I wanted so much to take the freeway exit and just go home to him - and I couldn't, since we'd split up.

picnic
While I was waiting for a plane at an airport, I was inspired to write this poem. Perhaps it was the tea I was drinking, or an odd brain charge I got from skimming through a huge stack of various newspapers (it was a long wait :p), but I just had to write this poem. I was afraid I'd forget it, so I wrote it down quickly on two old receipts that I dug from the depths of my bookbag. Two weeks later, I managed to transfer the poem onto the computer. No revisions at all. Just fifteen to twenty minutes of furious writing at the airport gate, with other people occasionally staring at the crazy Asian guy in the corner blasting Algerian räi music and rifling through his bags for another scrap of paper. *L* (This poem was inspired by a co-worker whom I had a crush on. Hot guy, very nice too - too bad he was straight. :p)

climate
A haiku on the concept of "climate" - inner versus outer. Written in the standard three-line, five-/seven-/five-syllable form.

by any other name
A poem about falling in love and changing yourself for (and getting changed by) the person you love, only to have that person dump you because they became tired of the person they turned you into. -_-

A Lack of Chestnuts
A longish essay I wrote after Thanksgiving in 2005. It's dedicated to my mother, with much love.

From the Tap
A short essay about the difference between the everyday boy that you might go out with and the boy you go out with that just seems *made* for you. :D Inspired by a cute, wonderful guy. *_*

the tale of a blip
I like this poem a lot, mainly because it's a departure from the love-obsessed stuff I normally write for this section. This poem does deal with love as well, but it's a departure in that it also addresses another issue in the process.

to the brim
A poem I wrote about James and I, about the hard times we had while we were together, and about how when you love someone, you feel like you have so much to say but can't articulate any of it to any intelligent degree. Or how when you argue with someone you love, sometimes shutting up and not saying anything further and just holding each other is the best solution/ending.

all of the people some of the time
The night before I wrote this poem, I saw a guy in a movie I was watching whom I got really attracted to. He wasn't exceptionally cute or anything - I just really gravitated to him, and as I watched the movie he inspired the third verse of this poem, the one about the bard. Later, as I was drifting off into sleep, the first two verses of this poem came to me as I thought about the bard verse, and when I woke up the next morning, I wrote down all three verses and finished up the poem. :p

Androcanto - Sea
Androcanto - Fog
Androcanto - Wavetune
The "Sea" and "Fog" poems are constructed using watery images and are two sides of the same coin, based on the relationship issues I was having at the time. "Sea" depicts the positive side of the relationship; "Fog" is the negative. In fact, I suggest reading "Fog" first, and THEN clicking the link to read "Sea" so that you end on a happy note. *L* XD I started writing the two around the same time but did not finish "Fog" until about a month after "Sea." As for "Wavetune," it's basically a quick little song I wrote which stemmed from the inspiration I got through writing "Sea" and "Fog." Enjoy! ^_^

seed
A little haiku (in the standard three-line, five-/seven-/five-syllable form) I wrote for a boyfriend.

rise and shine
This poem was written based on a dream I had two nights prior. Normally if I have a dream that strikes me I write about it in prose form, but I just had to talk about this one with a poem, so here it is. :p It's a sequel to the Stupidity Opus, by the way, so feel free to read the Opus before you read this poem (scroll down and you'll see it). The Opus and this poem are both about the same guy, even though this poem was written two-and-a-half years after the Opus was finished. *L*

singularity
*rofl* Oh my god. This poem is just APPALLING. *rofl* I don't mean that it's "bad"; what I mean is that the subject matter is so WRONG. Let me put it this way: I had a really romantic dream about Carl Sagan (don't ask XD), and I had to write a poem about it. The poem not only deals with the dream but also talks about how I much love science... except I think I might have gone a bit too far. :p *L* Oh heck, just read it. XD

close, closer, closest
A poem I wrote for James when we were together.

first date
This isn't anything special, really - it's just a short/cute blurb I wrote after my first date with a cute guy. XD

tired, at the anvil
A poem about growing old, and the constant battle between my essential optimism/idealism/confidence and my ever-increasing cynicism/pessimism/insecurity. I like this one.

untapped
Another poem I wrote for Ranmaru, back when things weren't going well between the two of us. "close, closer, closest" is a more accurate depiction of where things lie as of now.

diamond
A poem for Justin. :p

the long memory
Here's a poem about 11 Sept., written exactly one year after the fact. I wonder how many flames I'll get for this one. XD (In case my other sites haven't made it apparent, I'm a Green Party liberal.)

you think you can
I thought up the chorus verses in this poem several years before actually writing this poem, after a friend of mine stopped talking to me once he started questioning his sexuality. The choruses were incomplete by themselves, so I never wrote them down. Later, I managed to draw on experiences with an ex of mine to write additional verses and flesh out the choruses, and this poem is the result of that combination. Not a stellar poem, but it's there for what it's worth.

The Genius at Heartbreak Hotel
This is a poem that only people who've worked in a bookstore will truly understand and appreciate. *L*

a career in mathematics
The most recent poem addressed to my last ex; I wrote this before I realized our relationship was actually "over" as opposed to "on hold."

Feedback Letter
This is an edited version of a letter I sent to my last ex when we were still together: it's part journal entry, part memoir, and part love letter. *L*

three weeks total
The second poem I wrote for my last ex.

name's sake
And here's the first poem I ever wrote for him! >:p

obology
Yes, that's right, another poem for him. xp

Pasanyx
If you're wondering where I got the title from, "he pasa nyx" means "every night" in ancient Greek. :> This poem is grossly cheesy, so beware.

the method
This is a TERRIBLE, terrible poem (*L* that's what happens when you spend only about five minutes in writing something), but still, I had to write it and get the emotional whatever :p out of my system.

Music as Nutrition - A Case Study
A short story which I wrote for my fiction writing class; I placed it under the autobiographical section cause the events in this story are taken directly out of my own life. Disclaimer: I do have to admit that in some parts of the story my memory went fuzzy and I had to fill things in with what I *think* I remember happened - so yeah, the story's not one-hundred-percent accurate, but I tried to limit the embellishments by keeping details to a bare minimum, especially in scenes where my memory isn't good. And hey, an autobiographical story is colored by your own interpretation of things, so can there really BE a one-hundred-percent accurate autobiographical story? :p

The Issue
A short write-up I did for class about one of my summer days o' fun. :p The reader should note that the disclaimer/caveat that I put under "Music as Nutrition - A Case Study" (see above) also applies here. *g*

shake
This poem wasn't that autobiographical when I wrote it - in fact, it was just inspired by a guy in my Greek class with very sexy eyebrows. Yes, eyebrows. :p *L* However, I was rereading it just today (31 July 2000), and when I realized the significance it had regarding certain recent events in my life, the feeling I got during my rereading was incredible. Imagine writing a random poem that has almost nothing to do with your life, and then having it come true nearly four years later. THAT is the reason why this poem now resides here at the "Autobiographical Fun" section of the Library, instead of where it used to be at the "Paper or Pastiche?" section. Hope you enjoy the read. :>

assault
This is a poem which describes an odd dream I had just a few hours before I wrote it. I originally meant to write about this dream in prose form; however, the details were too vague to make for good lyric prose, so I decided to go with poetry. Incidentally, the dream was about Okiayu Ryoutarou, a cute voice actor with whom I'm totally obsessed. xp

The Stupidity Opus - 1997:
Number 7.4: independence day
Number 8.2: just the usual useless obsession
Number 8.9: history repeals itself
Number 9.8: morning wet
Number 9.12: nothing is better than this
Ah yes, this five-poem series is completely autobiographical, and all five are dedicated to Mike B. These poems have it all: the incredible highs, the painful lows, *drama alert! drama alert!* and all the crap that goes on in between. :p

Imitation Chaparral
A little piece I wrote about one of the many afternoons I spend alone with my piano and my thoughts (this particular afternoon took place two weeks before I wrote this piece).

april fool
(take a look at the rough draft :p)
It still hurts to read this poem, I'm afraid, and I wince reading the rough draft cause it's so BAD. *g*

mother's day, plastic disc version
An essay/story thingie (vignette! that's the word I want!) which I wrote about my mother. I thought it was fitting since Mother's Day came up two days after I wrote this, but it was terribly written, in my opinion.

mid-week fun
A vignette based on a word game, which really should be part of the Stupidity Opus, except it isn't a poem, so I have it here as a separate entity.

high in protein
When I first put this poem in the "Paper or Pastiche?" section of the Library, I wrote: "This poem was written following a word game, and it isn't autobiographical - sure wish it was, though!" Well, this poem was moved here to the "Autobiographical Fun" section of the Library for the same exact reason the "shake" poem was moved here: although the poem had no real connection with me when I wrote it, when I reread it much later I was struck by the significance it had regarding certain recent events in my life. This particular piece is not a great or good poem by any means, but still, it gained some new meaning for me. :p

departure
This is a haiku I wrote back when I was twelve years old; eight years later, I modified it so that it would have some personal significance, and so now it's here for you to read. ;p

Fifteen Minutes After
Although I'm the main character in this short story, it's not autobiographical. However, there is a very valid reason as to why I put this story under the "Autobiographical Fun" section of this site, as you will see when you read the very end of this story. The very end of the story also explains why this story is so WEIRD. :p

Roy G. Biv's GPA
I wrote this poem fairly soon after I had just come out of the closet to an acquaintance of mine, and this poem is addressed to him. However, this poem is extremely cryptic and annoying and badly written, and to top it off, I'm the only one who understands it. XP *L* The only reason I'm putting it up here at the Library at all is sheer nostalgia - this sad excuse of a poem was very important to me when I had first come out of the closet. *L* XD

thirteen-year-old suburbia
This is a song I wrote for voice and piano, and it's not autobiographical at all, but I put it here for the same reason "Fifteen Minutes After" is here - I dreamed of it. *L* I'm dead serious: I dreamt that I was playing this song and singing it at some small concert. A few minutes after I woke up I went over to the computer and typed down the lyrics as best I remembered them from my dream, so click the link to read them. Since I dreamt this song, don't ask me what the lyrics are supposed to signify, cause I have no idea either. *L* In fact, the lyrics are really banal and stupid and cheesy, but I didn't want to edit them and "fix them up" - cause then it wouldn't've been true to the dream I had.