singularity

written between 4 and 10 January 2002 copyright © 2002-present James Sanghyun Han (a.k.a. steal this and DIE)


like a candle in the dark he flared up in my dream
in corduroy and turtleneck he came to me
his eyes were brown and green
his smile slow and sad
like it knew everything and wished it never had

he looked younger too, for his hair was a darker black
and his arms were hard and strong as he put them 'round my back
he held me close and whispered in a murmur smooth and deep
he said he'd kiss me to demonstrate anastomosing unity

his name was Carl, Carl Sagan
he blinded me with science and sheer mentality
he titillated me with his sweet, polite defiance
of convention, religion, and society

his name was Carl, Carl Sagan
he kissed my chest and laughed in a voice as deep as seas
he told me dreamy stories of a wide global alliance
dedicated to environmental harmony

like a pale blue dot on black he was my eternity
and his hair fell in his eyes as he lay with me
he spoke of poverty
he talked of peer review
and a billion trillion things he thought i never knew

he told me Pioneer 10 passed Jupiter in 1973
and then he said i was the only man for him in the galaxy
he talked about the variable L as his body lay by mine
and though he fell asleep you could tell his brain was still on overtime

his name was Carl, Carl Sagan
like two dragons in Eden we grappled as we pleased
and we jousted with our minds on important issues
like colonizing Oort clouds and exobiology

his name was Carl, Carl Sagan
with minds and hands entwined we made contact dark and sweet
and as we looked out of our window looking up at the night sky
we pondered constellations and singularities

and i wished it wouldn't end, but i knew he had to go
for in a corner of my mind my alarm clock did bellow
so he opened his soft eyes
and he smiled slow and sad
he rose and left my side, leaving empty my small bed

as my alarm grew more insistent he began to fade away
i rushed to hug him one last time before i had to face the day
and he stroked my hair and murmured with a whisper dark and sweet
that wherever i was in the cosmos he'd always be with me

his name was Carl, Carl Sagan
he kissed my chest and laughed in a voice as deep as seas
he titillated me with his sweet, polite defiance
of convention, religion, and society

his name was Carl, Carl Sagan
he blinded me with science and sheer mentality
and as he got into his car with the PHOBOS license plate
he waved to me

and i woke up

and i realized i was late

(for Carl Sagan, 1934-1996)


Autobiographical Fun
Ganymede's Library
Ganymede's Palace