you little shit
messing with my heads
controlling my emotional well-being
with every smile and/or tactless remark formed from your sweet lips
you know that heart in the palm of your hand?
well, get your pretty claws off it, you cute bastard
give it back to me
you can give me something else as well, if you like
you little sweetie
fucking with my brain
and the only part of me you ever fuck with is my brain
except of course in my dreams
oh, so you're "not going to show it" to me, is that it?
well, you owe me over twenty bucks for dinner
so show some gratitude you jerk
you beautiful, gorgeous, absolute jerk
and well well well, isn't this familiar
history is repeating
repealing itself
another pool party where i feast my eyes on your form
another pool party where i drink in your sights
the deep, dark cherry-wood/chestnut of your hair
the green-gray pools framed by the World's Best Eyelashes
and i always want more but i am satisfied with what i can have
another day where i worship you with furtive glances and outright staring
(and why did he have to make that comment about my e-mails?)
another pool party where we face off with looks and smiles
another pool party where i play Narcissus:
looking out into the water at the image of a guy i can't have
and last night
at the pool party when you screamed in fright
i was afraid that i had lost you to a mountain lion
but it was only a friend who surprised you in the 11 p.m. darkness
hilarious
i guess overreacting is my talent
so yeah
call it lust
call it obsession
call it my talent
but like it or not this is love and you're in my heads
and you'll never get out
despite the half-assed attempts of my left-brain to kick you out
it's really funny
cause whatever day i spend time with you
i fall asleep that night and have a heart-wrenching dream about you
and last night was no exception
i fall asleep and dream that you masturbate in my bed
i fall asleep and dream that we're a wildly happy couple
in love
talking together
swimming together
fucking together
but usually i'm not that lucky, even in my dreams
it's because i always wake up (with a hard-on) too soon
i guess the idea of sex with you is too world-shaking for me to stay soundly asleep
i guess my subconscious would rather have me wake up and face reality
i write about what i wish i could say to you (i love you)
i write about what i wish i could do with you (hey baby, wanna fuck?)
and yep, this is the third one a-coming
and it's only been a month (five weeks and three days, to be exact)
you know full well that you could have me in a second
all it would take would be a simple "yes" on your part
but i'm not planning on a sex change
so i know full well that i will have you never
unless your cool/intellectual curiosity takes an unexpected turn
so damn your heterosexuality
damn your untouchability and your tactless comments
damn your smile and your pretty claws
damn those twin pools of green-gray each surrounded by a silky grove of cherry wood
damn them all to the hell-fire known as love
the hell-fire that has set my mind and limbs aflame
and while i sit here
sit here feeling my limbs get consumed by this glorious, burning weakness
watching my emotional well-being burn to gritty ash
i'll remember the pool parties where you handsomely cavort in the waves
i'll remember my dreams where you and i swim in melted chocolate
i'll remember my dreams where you masturbate in my bed
and i'll fondly await the next time history can repeat/repeal itself
(for Mike B.)