thank you for everything
merci beaucoup and all that jazz
my gratitude for the happiness you granted me
in this introspective the memories overload
blushing when we entered restaurants together
feeling the glorious heart-wrench when you smiled
laughing where you chuckled a sexy baritone
chuckling where you laughed in cute falsetto gasps
getting hard just by maintaining eye contact
realizing that i liked succumbing to your power
smelling the ambrosia of you after you left my room
falling in love with your vulnerability, strength, and form
your beauty
yeah, love involves risk
but i threw the dice too hard
pulled your lever too many times
dumbly wasting my quarters on this hopeless investment
so thank you for nothing
doumo arigatou and the rest of that shit
my gratitude for the crap you piled on me
in this retrospective the memories suck
masking my anger when you left me for Bud Y. Zerr
feeling the shitty heart-wrench when you started laughing *at* me
smiling good-humoredly when i was jealous
being jealous when i should have been good-humored
wondering when the hell you would call
realizing that even the mere philia was one-sided
wishing away the stench of you when you left my heart
falling in disgust at your ego, inconsideration, and sleaziness
your hypocrisy
love involves risk
and you are living proof that the rewards are tiny
and you never heard my subtle cries
so maybe i had to bark like a dog to get your attention
my friends accuse me of lust
because my love for you has disappeared overnight
but it's you who showed me your true nature
the side to you that i never knew existed
so there is nothing left to love
as i was in love with the person i thought you were
as opposed to the person i now know you are
and thank you, thank you, thank you for setting me free
maximas gratias and all the rest
my gratitude for the lessons that were taught to me
unwittingly released from your unwittingly created web
like a butterfly i'm free again to sample the flowers
and it's damn fun to be free from your nothing
cause freedom is everything
i'm free from your inconsideration and your vulnerability
from the memories that suck and overload
from your hypocritical beauty
from this risky game of chance that caused this glorious and shitty heart-wrenching
and love involves risk
so thank you
for becoming a past tense in my mind and heart
my gratitude for the freedom you made me appreciate
next time i won't pull the lever so much
next time i'll bark
but there won't be a next time
cause it's damn fun to be free from your everything
even if freedom is nothing
(end)