april fool (rough draft)

Note: I was a crying, babbling wreck when I wrote this, literally weeping as I typed, writing with the need for therapeutic expression but without true inspiration, and thus it is a really bad poem. The only reason I am exhibiting the rough draft of "april fool" (titled "second genesis") is because it is SO COMPLETELY different from the final draft, which I wrote in a mere half hour over a month after I wrote the rough draft.

You're probably thinking, "So, what does that have to do with anything?" The thing is that my rough drafts to all my poems are ALWAYS almost exactly like the final drafts, with just a few minor alterations here and there, because when I write poems they usually come out fully formed and I'm happy with them. In this case the difference between rough and final drafts was so drastic that I had to exhibit the rough draft as well.

But anyway, here is "second genesis." :p

"second genesis"

so your fucking truth comes out
weren't you glad i was your lab partner?
weren't you glad that you used me?
like everyone else who conducted experiments with me?

you're right: i was really dumb
but you shouldn't take advantage of stupid people

so this is it then, huh?
aren't you glad that you satisfied your curiosity?
aren't you glad that you're the cat that got away?
got away after using my heart as your litter box?

that's right: just scratch at the sand
and cover up your smelly pile of shit before running off

i'm rambling, yep yep
i'm just in one of my moods, remember?
overreacting
i'm so emotional, so unstable, so i'll get over it soon
just let the blowjob blow over

maybe i'm stupid but last time i checked
pushing
my face into your crotch should have been possessed
of a greater significance than:
"oh, i wonder what i'll feel when i do this!"

so, that's all folks, right?
aren't you glad that you broadened your horizons?
aren't you glad that you have truly defeated your best friend?
hey, if you can't win the arguments, get physical

that's right: run as far as you can
but your shit stench will fill your nostrils as you run off

so your b.s. is exposed
weren't you glad i would have done anything for you?
weren't you glad that i was your next best thing?
like everyone else who conducted experiments with me?

you're right - hey, be glad at least one of us is
so enjoy that position (at least one of us will)

so this poem is my version of your punching bag
aren't you glad you weren't honest with me?
aren't you glad you've done this to me?
be glad

(for Anthony)

Autobiographical Fun
Ganymede's Library
Ganymede's Palace