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2 October 2000
James Han, Jeddy.Org
XXXX XXXXXXXXX Ave.
Redwood City CA XXXXX
XXX.XXX.XXXX
To Mr. and Mrs. MacDonnell:
This is James Han, whom you'll remember as Jenny's friend, the one who stayed at your house for a few days along with Jessica when Jessica visited California in the summer of last year. I'm writing to express my extreme disappointment at Mr. MacDonnell's actions two months ago, around the time when Jessica and James were here visiting Jenny and myself.
The night before Jessica and James left to return to the East Coast, Mr. MacDonnell saw fit to kick James and I out of the MacDonnell residence, on the grounds that James sitting in a rocking chair with me sitting on the floor at his feet with an arm casually draped over his knees as we watched television together was unacceptable behavior in his house.
What I found especially amusing was the fact that instead of coming up to us directly and telling us to leave his house, Mr. MacDonnell took the coward's way out and instead asked his daughter to tell us to leave; however, his daughter was not the one who wanted to kick us out, and if he wanted my boyfriend and I out of his house that badly, he could have at least had the "decency" to give us the "courtesy" of telling James and myself directly. James and I are not the type of people who would throw a big fuss and refuse to leave in such a situation, and I don't understand what was so intimidating about the two of us that Mr. MacDonnell had to use his daughter to do his dirty work for him.
Don't get me wrong: it's not like I wanted to be there that night anyway, or that I minded leaving. However, as I mentioned earlier, the night Mr. MacDonnell kicked us out was actually the night before Jessica and James left. I had already been extremely upset the entire evening because James was leaving the next day, and because we had spent three hours at your house doing absolutely nothing except watch television when I could have been at my own house and alone with my boyfriend instead of being stuck in a house where we couldn't even give each other chaste kisses on the cheek without the fear of being kicked out, and Mr. MacDonnell kicking the two of us out of a house that I had been perfectly welcome in for over a year was the arsenic-icing on the cake. As much as I hate to admit it, I cried in the car when Jenny drove James and I back to my house: not because I felt I had fallen out of favor with you, Jenny's parents, or because I actually cared what a bigoted individual may or may not think of me, but because it was a negative experience which just made the idea of my boyfriend leaving the next day feel even worse.
The point to my letter is this:
Last summer, after I had spent a few days sleeping on your couch while Jessica was visiting, I sent the two of you a thank-you card, thanking you for allowing me to stay in your house on such short notice, and I really did mean it when I said in that card how grateful I was.
The next time I saw Mr. MacDonnell, he praised me effusively for sending the card, commenting that most people my age wouldn't have been so thoughtful (his exact words were: "It's nice that some young people nowadays still have proper manners..."). Yet now, just because he saw me with an arm casually and non-sexually draped over a male person's knees, I am not even fit to set one foot in a house where even a stray cat would probably be welcome, even though according to his own testimony I'm a person who's good enough to be called more thoughtful and more considerate than other people my age. Taking all this into consideration, the questions I am compelled to put forth are as follows:
What was it about having my arm over someone's knees that suddenly refuted Mr. MacDonnell's initial assessment last year of my worth as a person? Was he so wrong, or is he just too underdeveloped to accept that the fact that people can put a silly arm over someone's knees in a show of non-sexual affection, even regardless of sexual orientation?
Keep in mind that I do not write this letter in the hopes that I might actually change Mr. MacDonnell's narrow and subjective opinion of me and once more be allowed to visit your house. That is not my intent at all, and frankly, I could care less what a person whom I barely know may think of me, nor would I ever want to set foot in your house again, even if I was to be formally invited (perhaps neither of you have even read this far into my letter and have thrown it away already; still, I could care less about that as well). I could even care less whether or not either of you take this letter seriously, or whether or not either of you bother to reply. However, I'll be damned before I let someone I barely know treat me in such an immature, bigoted, and cowardly manner - especially on an evening when I had already been feeling quite upset to begin with without Mr. MacDonnell's help - without having my own say in return. Thus, this letter.
Lastly, I have left a plastic bag at your door, filled with a bunch of books Jenny let me borrow some time ago. I'd appreciate it if you'd remember to give them to her when she next returns home.
Sincerely,
James Han