Finally, when she realized I was serious, she numbly said she had to leave, and we said bye and hung up our phones. I got a call two seconds later, and I picked up the phone to hear my mother spitting nails and shouting all sorts of phrases at me. The most ludicrous one she spouted out was: "I bet now that you're gay you've been doing drugs and drinking and smoking all the time!"
The phrase that hurt the most was, "You keep this up and you're not my son anymore; don't ever expect to come home again!" After she said that, she hung up on me - it was the first (and only) time she had ever done that to me.
I called Sara, and when she heard who it was the first thing she said was "Come to my room." I literally ran out of the room crying, and was still crying when I got to her dorm room. I probably ruined Sara's clothing by crying all over them, but she took it in stride and I was feeling much better when I left, with a bagel Sara's grandmother had baked in my hand. (Digressing: Everyone in the hallway was staring when I left Sara's room cause they had seen me go into it crying my eyes out, and Sara - being the angel that she was - told them to all go away, cause she was gonna spend time with her newest boytoy lover. I'll always be grateful to her for making me laugh!)
The next day my mother called me and cried and apologized for what she had said - after the stereotypical shock-denial-anger process she had gone through the day before, she had somewhat progressed into "acceptance." For about a month, it was the last she ever said anything about my homosexuality, though I could tell from the way she talked to me that it was always on her mind.
On New Year's Eve, Mom took me to see Phantom of the Opera in San Francisco. We had an awesome time since we were in the fourth row (the Phantom, played by Franc D'Ambrosio, had the most amazing voice), and since we were at the front I could see the orchestra pit and the conductor up close. I noted that the rather cute conductor had a silver hoop in his left ear, but I didn't think anything of it. Nowadays straight and gay men alike pierce their ears, so who cares if a cute guy sports an earring? It no longer means that they're gay - it would be quite nice if it did, though!
After Phantom, Mom and I left the theater and went across the street to a café to buy drinks and discuss the musical as we drank. I noted that the cashier at the café had a silver hoop through his left ear; again, I thought nothing of it, and I just thought it was cool since I love silver.
As we sat in the café and discussed, there was a lull in our conversation, and my mom furtively glanced at the cashier, leaned over to me and whispered, "If you're a man and you wear an earring, does that mean you're gay?"
I was shocked, to say the least. It had been such a long time since I had returned from Brown for winter break that I was worried that I'd have to be the one bring up the subject of my homosexuality, since I knew I'd have to talk with her about it more sooner or later. And here was Mom doing the job for me.
I was very happy and shocked, but I didn't show that. I just remained calm and whispered back, "What do you mean?"
Mom: "Well, the conductor had an earring, and [our cashier] had an earring, and doesn't that mean that they're gay? And doesn't it mean that you're masculine if the earring is in the left ear and feminine if it's in the right?"
I was appalled to hear such misconceptions (and such butch/femme fixation) spewing forth from the mouth of my otherwise intelligent and learned mother, but I was immensely glad that she was asking questions in an attempt to learn, so I whispered: "Well, wearing an earring used to be a way to say that you were gay, but a lot of other guys liked the fashion and now so many men wear earrings that you can't say some guy is gay just by an earring."
I also wanted to point out to my mother (though I didn't) that in gay relationships there is no such thing as masculine and feminine roles: the trouble with society is that it's geared so that people think that in every relationship, gay or straight, there has to be a partner who is "the man" and there has to be a partner who is "the woman." Why can't people understand that in gay AND straight relationships neither role exists? True, each partner in any relationship will be dominant in certain aspects of the relationship, but that doesn't mean that there is always one partner who is the "masculine" one and another who is the "feminine" one. Society's problem is that it thinks that it always has to be defined like that, and that it thinks that those gender roles are natural as opposed to being a human construct.
At any rate, my mom and I left the café and we had a great talk during the entire drive home. Since then things have fine between us, and we have grown even closer as friends (though I did get pissed on two different occasions when she commented that she wished Emiko and I had become a couple). She even recently asked me questions about my ex-boyfriend from last summer, though I didn't think she knew that he was my boyfriend at all, and she even rightfully called my biological father stupid for letting homophobia come between him and his son.
The story doesn't end there, as I have come out to many more people since then and will always be coming out to people as long as there are sales clerks around who will ask me if I'm buying presents for my girlfriend, but my mother was the last person in my life whom I needed to tell, and she was the one of the most important. Therefore you could say the stage of pupation is over, even if the hatching and nascence are lifelong endeavors.

- James