(written 10 September 1999 ^^;)
Once upon a time, there was a hot boy named Spazziboshi. x.x Spazziboshi used a flute as a weapon by throwing it at people using telekinesis, and he was an accomplished musician on the ryuusuisei, his favorite instrument.
Spazziboshi was also Tasuki no Miko. *_* You see, Haruka - I mean, Yui - was goddess of Hubris Country in the Northwest. Hotohori was god of Beautiful Country in the East-southeast, Tasuki was god of Fucking Country in the South (it was also rumored that he was "very big in the south" :p), and Tomo was the god of Iowa City. ^_____^
In order to call Tasuki and be granted three nights in bed with him, the nubile Spazziboshi had to find Tasuki no ShichiSushi (the Seven Sushi of Tasuki).
The first ShichiSushi wasn't too hard to find, as his good looks made him stand out in a crowd. *_* His Sushi name was Hamachi, though his birth name was Yellowtail Tuna. Hamachi was blond, blue-eyed, and deep-voiced; the last of his tribe, he liked to whip things and slap things, especially cheesy, decently attractive men he could cow into submission with his "ministrations." *_*
The second ShichiSushi was the emperor of Fucking Country. That is, he was the emperor's third cousin's stepbrother's uncle's grandson-in-law. He was Unagi, and his given name was Grilled Eel. His unruly dark blue hair and the scar running down his left cheek made him look dangerous, but mention the god Tasuki and he'd crumple into a heap of babbling, lovesick, soggy bread. ;_; Unagi was very jealous of Spazziboshi, cause HE wanted to be Tasuki no Miko, as well as Tasuki no Love Slave, and Tasuki no A Host of Other Things.
Kourin was the Sushi name of the third one: a really pretty man with long purple hair which he kept braided. Actually, Kourin (real name: Sweet Shrimp) was a woman, but ever since the death of her older brother she'd been living as him to keep him alive in a certain sense. We would call this "denial."
The fourth ShichiSushi was Shouyu, a wandering monk woman (her real name: Soi Sauce). Shouyu had the special ability to teleport by jumping into the loop that her styled hair made atop her head. Though Shouyu detested anything having to do with sex, she was madly in love with Hamachi, and this would sometimes incur the wrath of Tomo, the god of Iowa City, who would descend from his heavenly throne in the Midwest to come and bitch-slap Shouyu for a good hour or so. Poor Shouyu! ;.;
The fifth ShichiSushi was a bandit man with bad teeth from Mount Kukarei, named Rougen (real name: Kanna Nobutoshi). Contrary to popular belief, Rougen loved women. Yes indeed, I kid you not! He loved them cause they were so easy to talk to about his boyfriend troubles. *_*
The real name of Wasabi, ShichiSushi number six, was Horseradish Powder. He used to be a world-class healer on the level of a mage or an adept, but after his left hand got bitten off by a rabid cat he lost the ability and became bitter toward all animals. Wasabi was a small, puny little man who always had a goldfish on his shoulder. Usually these goldfish died quickly and could make an entire room reek, so unless Wasabi had just gotten a new goldfish you wouldn't want to be around him that much.
The final ShichiSushi was called Sashimi (real name: Raw Fish, alias Akai Iitsutae). He was the oldest of the seven, VERY old in fact, and he was rather lacking in mental capacities. He wasn't going senile or anything - it was just that there was nothing there to go senile in the first place. ^^;
And so, the day had finally arrived: Spazziboshi had gathered together all of the Tasuki no ShichiSushi! :D To celebrate, Spazziboshi, Hamachi, Unagi, Rougen, Wasabi, and Sashimi had a big orgy in the cloakroom of the Fucking Country's palace. Kourin and Shouyu felt a bit left out. ;.;
The next day, Spazziboshi gathered together all of the ShichiSushi, and made them stand in a circle around him. He then took out his ryuusuisei and began playing the song "Heart ni Kiraboshi Sakashitare!!" with it, and as he ended the piece the god Tasuki descended from the sky, wearing nothing but boxers decorated in a pattern of chibi Taiitsu-kuns. The boxers were rather loose and all eight of them were enjoying the view as they looked up for the duration of the god's slow descent. They all let out a sigh of disappointment as his feet touched the ground.
Tasuki: AHO KA, TEMERA! >.< Chi, minna *BEEP* hentai yarou ya *BEEP*... *looks around* Where the *BEEP* is my bathrobe!?!?
Spazziboshi: *_* Oh, you don't need one... Tasuki-sama! h_h
Tasuki: o.o?
Unagi: *_* That's right! Dance with me? h_h
Tasuki: -.-
Hamachi: No, me! *_* You aren't cheesy enough for my tastes, but I can adapt! *_*
Spazziboshi: >.< *knocks out all of the ShichiSushi with his flying flute* There! ^___^ You see? Now I have you all to myself. h_h!!!
Tasuki: o.o;;; I'm *BEEP*ing afraid to *BEEP*ing grant your *BEEP*ing wishes, you know that? ><;;;
Spazziboshi: *^.^* Iyaaaan, Gen-chan hidoiiiii...
Tasuki: o.o;;; ... O.O!!! *BEEEEEEEEEEP!!!* Dare ka! x.x! Tasukete! ;____;
