by Tray of Tofudee

Tay: Give me back that keyboard, you brat! *snatches keyboard and slaps Wil upside the head*
Wil: Owww! What was that for?
Tay: You idiot, my name is NOT Tray of Tofudee - it's Tay Trefenwyd!!!
Wil: Then stop calling me Willing Ohmsford!!!
Tay: You should be thankful I don't call you Wee Willie Ohmsford!!!
Wil: SHUDDUP!
Tay: *raspberries Wil* Geez, I teach you to use a computer and this is how you repay me... *types*

Alcoholics Allanonymous

by TAY TREFENWYD (James Han :P)

written Sunday, 13 December 1998 © (steal this and DIE ;P)

- -

*in Eventine's private study*

Allanon: *rises from the table and puts the hood of his cloak over his head* I must be going, Elven King. Thank you for the private reception.
Eventine: Oh, come come, Allanon. Surely, one more glass of champagne before you depart for Paranor?
Allanon: *pauses* I really shouldn't...
Eventine: Oh, come on! From the best Sarandanon vineyards, you know. *pours out another glass* You know you want it.
Allanon: Well... *fidgets with the hem of his cloak*
Eventine: *grin* Are you chicken? Think you can't handle another glass?
Allanon: Hey! Who's chicken? *takes off the cloak and throws it into a corner* *sits down and gulps down the whole glass* Hah! See? Gimme another! *wipes mouth and beard with the back of one hand*
Eventine: *grimaces* Fine, but this time drink it more slowly! This is a sparkling wine that you gotta ENJOY, man. *pours more*
Allanon: Yeah, yeah... *takes a sip* Hey, you're right! Damn good stuff, Eventine.
Eventine: Isn't it? *sips*

*four hours later*

Eventine: *is standing up* *has his left arm around Allanon's waist and holds a half-empty bottle in his right hand*
Allanon: *is standing up* *has his right arm around Eventine's waist and holds a half-empty bottle in his left hand*
Eventine: You know what, man? *takes a swig from the bottle as he sways on his feet*
Allanon: What is it, Evvie? *swigs and sways*
Eventine: *lets out one of those loud, five-second belches* I hate Arion! Why did he have to die like that? *sways dangerously* WHY? *throws his wine bottle into the fireplace, where it shatters and causes sparks and steam*
Allanon: *throws his wine bottle in as well* Yeah, WHY? Tell me WHY!
Eventine: I should just pack it all in! Let my dopey son Ander run this joint, and I can retire to Varfleet and tour all the brothels! AAAALL the damn brothels! Heck with it, even the all-male ones! *hiccups*
Allanon: *burps and scratches himself* Hey hey hey, lemme go with you, man! I'm sick of all this! All the stress of holding the Four Lands together, having to fight Demons and Skull Bearers and crap, sometimes I could just die! Stupid daddy Bremen had to teach me that damn Druid Sleep crap, and he isn't even my daddy anyway! *scratches himself again* So lemme go with you! Whaddaya say? Hah, Evvie? Whaddaya say? *belch*
Eventine: *scratches himself* Why not, why not? You and me, Allanon, getting away from it all, touring the brothels of the Callahorn! *slaps Allanon on the back* It'll be real fun!
Allanon: *starts crying* You're so generous, dude... I love you man! *hugs Eventine tightly*
Eventine: *starts sobbing uncontrollably and hugs Allanon back* I love you too, Al!

*painful yelping is heard*

Allanon: *pulls away from Eventine and burps* Hah? What was that noise?
Eventine: *looks down, scratches himself with one hand, and rubs his bloodshot eyes with the other* I think we stepped on Manx's paw. You okay, Manx? Manx? *belch*
Changeling: *walks away to a dark corner and nurses his hurt paw* I hate disguising myself in mammalian bodies... *grumbles* The Dagda Mor better pay me good overtime for this!

END