by Tay Tres-fun-to-be-with :P *HAR HAR*

written Friday, 30 April 1999 © (steal this and DIE ;P)

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*afternoon, in the kitchen of the Trefenwyd apartment*

Wil: ... *steals into the kitchen, looking around nervously* *creeps over to the phone on the wall, picks it up, and starts dialing*
Phone: *rrrring* *rrrring* *rrrring*
Wil: ... *fidgets* Pick up the phone, damnit!
Voice on the Phone (VotP): Hello! You've reached the Beverly Hills Plastic Surgery Center! Would you like to schedule an appointment?
Wil: Urm, yes I do, *fiddles with the phone cord* but before I do, can I ask if you guys can fix my ears?
VotP: *pause* You want plastic surgery on your ears?
Wil: *weeps* YES! I didn't mind my pointed ears and halfling features back at home, but here in California there's NO ONE LIKE ME!!! I keep seeing this Spock guy on TV, but it's just not the same! *weep weep weep* I feel so out of place!
VotP: Is this a prank call?
Wil: *sobbity sobbity sob* This is no prank! I really do have pointed ears!
VotP: I understand, dear. Let me transfer you to the Beverly Hills Psychology Center-
Tay: *walks into the kitchen, holding a flute* Wil, what're you doing?
Wil: AUGH! *hangs up the phone with a loud BANG*
Phone: *BANG*
Wil: *flails his arms about, trying to think of a good lie* AUGH! Augh! I was just... urm... getting you something to drink! YEAH!
Tay: *raises eyebrows* So you turned our phone into a water dispenser?
Wil: Hah? *scritch-scratches the back of his head*
Tay: Nevermind. I just came looking for you to give you this flute.
Wil: Isn't that your flute?
Tay: Well, mine is the same kind, but this one was delivered here for you earlier. I opened the case and put the flute together for you, since we all know how good you are at complicated assembly projects.
Wil: *glares, but takes the flute* Who's it from?
Tay: From your grandpa Shea.
Wil: Shea Ohmsford???
Tay: No, your grandpa Shea Stadium.
Wil: Hah???
Tay: Forget it.
Wil: *turns the flute every which way* How does this work?
Tay: *laughs evilly* Have fun blowing your instrument!
Wil: SHUDDUP!
Tay: And oh yeah, don't change your ears, they're sexy just the way they are. *laughs again and walks out*
Wil: *sighs* Hrm... *fiddles with the flute* Maybe it's like... this? *presses a key on the flute*
Flute: *giggles*
Wil: *boggle* What the... *presses the key again*
Flute: *giggles* Don't touch me there! *the flute flashes and a green, glowing pencil-like miniature girl sporting green jeans, a green motorcycle jacket, and green spiky hair floats out the open end of the flute*
Green Mini Girl: *floats in the air in the standing position* Great. Just great. *crosses arms and chews loudly on a piece of gum*
Wil: *stares at the prittie glowing person* Who are you?
Green Mini Girl: *pause* ... Your worst nightmare.
Wil: WHAT?
Green Mini Girl: JUST KIDDING! *floats* Ha, I love doing that! I sir, am Greeny, the Glowing Green Genie. *float float chew chew*
Wil: How catchy! *stare stare* But why did you come out of a flute and not an oil lamp or something?
Greeny: Cause I'm skinny enough to fit in a flute.
Wil: Oh. Do I get three wishes?
Greeny: Do fish play checkers?
Wil: Urm, no.
Greeny: Oh. Nevermind then, wrong line. So what do you want? I am all-powerful, I can grant you any three wishes you want, so name your first one! Anything you could possibly want!
Wil: Okay! *cutely puts a finger on his chin* Hrm... *think think* I want a frog! *dances*
Greeny: ... *blink* *jaw drops open and you can see that the chewing gum is green, and her tongue is green too* A frog?
Wil: Yeah, a frog, you know, they're warty and they go "ribbit"-
Greeny: I *KNOW* what they are, but you're gonna spend your first wish on a frog?
Wil: Oh no! Not just A frog! I want FORTY-ONE frogs!
Greeny: *raises an eyebrow* You sure you don't want to make it an even number like thirty-seven point five? *snaps her fingers and frogs appear all over the kitchen, in the sink, on the floor, on top of the stove, etc.*
Wil: Cool! Now for my second wish, I want you to turn all of Allanon's clothing from black to hot pink! *giggles naughtily* *urm...*
Greeny: *laughs* NOW you're talking! I always wanted to get back at that guy ever since he used the last wish I gave him to turn himself into a high-and-mighty Druid... *snaps fingers*

*and somewhere in an alternate reality far far away, in an academic commune facility known as Paranor...*

Allanon: *lies in bed sleeping* ... *snorts and wakes up* Hah? *sits up in bed, rubbing his bleary eyes*
Allanon: ... Where are my clothes? ... ... *sees a hot pink cloak draped over his chair and some hot pink boots lying under the chair*
Allanon: *chin quivers dramatically* No... NO... NNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*back at the Trefenwyd kitchen*

Greeny: *laughs evilly* That punk deserved that. So anyway, what's your last wish?
Wil: Well, I really-
Tay: *walks in* Oh, hi Greeny! I wondered where you went off to after you left my flute.
Greeny: Hi kiddo! Long time no see.
Wil: *boggle* You two know each other?
Greeny: Oh sure! Tay's first wish was for this apartment building, and then his second wish was to have some cute blond Elfboy move in with him, and his third wish was rather-
Tay: EH HEH HEH HEH, that's enough, Greeny. Wil, what's your third wish?
Wil: *sigh* I wish this parody was finished.
Tay: *eyes get wide* No, wait! I didn't get to write in the part about-
Greeny: Sorry, kiddo. *snaps fingers*

*BOOM*

THE END